In organizations, and certainly in the larger ones, it's often about interests. We all have interests, sometimes clearly visible, sometimes a little more hidden, sometimes you are completely unaware of them, but they are there. They form your 'agenda' — your goal. Everyone will recognize that these interests can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. Understanding each other's (and your own) interests is therefore the key to smoother cooperation. In this blog, Dolf L'Ortye, one of the founders of Summiteers, delves deeper into the importance of interests.

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From frustration to common ground

Every interaction between people, whether in a business or personal context, has to do with interests. This can cause frustration and misunderstanding. As a consultant — but also for those who are not — it is very powerful to sharpen the interests of the various players. It provides a good indication of what to expect in, for example, a meeting or workshop. It's helpful to understand each other's perspectives. So you may be able to find common ground. But sometimes that simply doesn't work. The interests are then opposed. That's okay, as long as it's explicit. Understanding that someone else also acts rationally, without bad intentions — the other person simply has an opposite interest — reduces frustrations and improves cooperation.

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Accidental collateral damage

The frustration we feel when others act is almost always unintentional 'collateral damage'. This often has to do with interests that are not explicit. People don't usually act intentionally to bother others, but out of a certain interest, even if they don't always make it explicit. Ask yourself: have you been explicit about your interests yourself?

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Put your own interests aside

In a previous blog Simone wrote about a number of behavioral methods. One of these is conscious leadership or conscious leadership. An important question about this method is: How would I act in this situation if I had no interest? This is a powerful question that allows you to put aside the finery and ego and focus on what really is best for everyone involved. A practical example. When I talk to a client, I can act in my own interest. Then I ask myself: How much time do I have to help the client? When I let go of my own self-interest, I ask a completely different question: What is best for the client? Only then will I think about whether we have enough time and who is the most suitable person for this client.

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Exercise

Just grab any meeting you're having today. Take a few minutes and write down for yourself: what are my interests in that meeting? And then put yourself in the shoes of the other participants and speculate about what their interests might be.

Possible interests of yourself

· Take your project one step further by getting a certain decision.

· Get information out on the table to better understand something.

· Have fun.

· Be visible to someone who is also sitting at the table.

· Indicate that you need help (and get a commitment).

· Et cetera...

Also take a shot at the interests that the others may have. You will see that this is a very useful exercise. You look from the other person's perspective, a broader view. Just put it on your own interests. You may already see the contradiction. You can then test that.

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Understanding the other person's importance

So how do you get the other person's interests into focus? Sometimes they're just not that sharp themselves. For example, assumptions about what a manager expects in terms of behavior in a meeting. Start by just asking about it. People don't always give a damn, but if you don't ask, you'll certainly never find out. You often already know where the importance lies. Then explore that. In a business context, it's perfectly acceptable to talk about this. In our work, we do this regularly. If we suspect that someone is sitting at the table with an interest other than ours, we name that feeling and try to delve deeper into it.

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Conflicting interests or not?

Nine times out of ten, interests are far more compatible than we initially think. As humans, we tend to keep our cards on our backs when we think the other person has an opposite interest. There is no trust. But then the other person feels that something is not right and that only causes failures and frustrations. In fact, there is a good chance that your initial assumption will come true. The other person also feels no confidence. If we approach the situation with an open attitude and clarify our interests, the chances of success are considerably greater. Dare to be vulnerable about your interests.

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