When you think of the profession of consultant, you may not immediately think of vulnerability. Nevertheless, you help someone else if you dare to show humility, are transparent and dare to show yourself. In this blog, Simone Halink, management consultant at Summiteers, explains how vulnerability in an advisory relationship takes you further.

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Is vulnerable on the Zuidas a no-go?

Recently, I read an article in the Financieele Dagblad about 'The vulnerable man and his career opportunities in the Zuidas'. Now, the combination of 'vulnerable', 'Zuidas' and 'man' in one sentence is not immediately logical. This was also evident from the article. Diversity consultant Maartje Laterveer concluded: “The more vulnerable you are as a man in business, the less successful you are, I notice in practice”. Unfortunately, it is still true that vulnerability in such environments is not often appreciated by an association with weakness. In my opinion, this is due to the fact that the concept is too one-sided. A missed opportunity, because vulnerability leads to more trust and a deeper relationship.

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What do we mean by vulnerability?

What exactly is vulnerability? At Summiteers, we use the book 'The Power of Vulnerability' by Brené Brown often as an important source. Although she does not talk about vulnerability in the advisory profession, but more in the context of personal leadership. She says: “Vulnerability is the emotion we experience in times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Vulnerability is having the courage to show yourself when you can't control the outcome. ' Especially the latter — not having control over the outcome — advisors often find difficult. They want to show that they 'know' it 'or have a solution. Of course, saying you don't know something is extremely exciting. However, that is exactly key if you want to provide real added value.

Another important teacher is Patrick Lencioni. In his book 'Getting Naked' he describes how you can also bring more to your customer in the consulting profession — by showing vulnerability in the form of humility, selflessness and transparency.

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Be servile

A client does not look for an advisor if he — or she, or them — has the solution themselves. Just by knocking on your door, he shows vulnerability. The problem is often about one's own power or influence, one's own right to exist, or the fact that something did not go well. The client exposes his vulnerability to you. It is important to deal with this with respect. You do this by letting the other person see and feel that you see and understand them, from person to person. That you are willing to do what is important to your client in the specific situation: that you are of service. And that requires vulnerability and guts to overcome your own fears in the interests of the assignment and the client.

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Vulnerability in practice

One example. A client asks you to help their team function better. You participate in the team meetings, observe the dynamics in the team and you find that the behavior of the client himself is ineffective. He doesn't let people finish talking and makes decisions without consultation. To return that observation in a friendly way, you must be vulnerable as an advisor. After all, you don't know what the outcome is. Maybe you're cutting yourself in the fingers and the client takes the assignment away from you. However, you provide the most added value if you put aside your own fears and give the client back what you see in a friendly and honest way.

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Fear of saying stupid things

Another phenomenon that often prevents people — advisors are like people — from being vulnerable is the fear of being public. As an advisor, you have to dare to ask the question that no one asks. You're sitting in a meeting where abbreviations fly around the table, but no one asks about the meaning of all those complicated terms. Of course, you can assume it's a piece of cake for everyone. But chances are that if you dare to ask the question, you will find that everyone is lost in the same Babylonian confusion. Yes, there is a risk that you will 'go' off ', but how bad is that?

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Fear of feeling inferior

The third phenomenon is more about doing things that are not directly your responsibility but can alleviate the customer's burdens in difficult times. Many advisors believe that there should be equality between client and advisor and therefore leave 'inferior' work behind. Of course, you should treat each other with respect, but that doesn't mean you can't take the heat out of your client. For example, if he has trouble writing a difficult email, it's best to suggest making a move. You will find that by addressing the client's vulnerability and serving it, you create trust. This shows that you have the client's interests very closely in mind. It also does a lot for the personal relationship. If you show things about yourself, the client will reflect on them. This gives you more open communication and you need that to successfully complete your assignment.

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Stand in the arena

Patrick Lencioni talks about showing you in full nakedness in front of your client. That sounds intense, but it's essentially about showing your human side in order to enrich the assignment. Brené Brown talks about being in the arena. Of course, you can safely sit on the sidelines and stay away from everything. Then you can be sure that you are not smearing yourself, but it won't get better either. By being vulnerable, you indicate that you dare to enter the arena and dare to fight for the sake of the other person. Every client will appreciate that.

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